Late Bloomer: Embracing Parenthood After Thirty
“Why did she wait so long to have a child?” My mother told me this is a question one of her childhood friends asked when my mother told her I was expecting a child. My mother responded to her saying that I was focused on obtaining an education, stable job, and secure relationship. I think the question was annoying but not an unusual question. My mother was considered a late bloomer for having me at thirty years old. When my mother was a young adult, women were expected to be married and have children in their early to mid-twenties. My friends either already had children in their mid-twenties to late thirties or were happily single and childless. I thought I would be happily single and childless. Currently, I am a single mother.
I wanted to have at least one child, but I wanted to have a child at least by the age of thirty-five. I told one of my friends, who had a child at thirty-eight years old, that I didn’t want to be an old mother. She was alarmed at my statement because she thought I was judging her for having a child later in life. However, I explained to her that I wanted to be a youthful mother and I could barely tolerate menstrual cramps. I couldn’t imagine tolerating labor pains. We now laugh about that conversation.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was in shock. Initially, I thought I was going through early menopause until the second home pregnancy test produced the same positive result. I started worrying about how inadequate the space is in my home. In addition, I had anxiety on how I would I manage investing in my retirement account and an education fund for my child. Furthermore, I was concerned about how I would parent my daughter. I was on edge for at least two months until I settled my nerves by being proactive.
To gain some space in my home, I had help moving the desk in my guest bedroom (which is now my daughter’s room), to the living room. I gave away some books and purchased hanging bookshelves for my living room. Recently, I researched investment options for my daughter’s education. I’m still deciding the best option but will have this settled in the next few weeks.
During my pregnancy, I started reading a book by Dr. Becky Kennedy entitled Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be. The advice that Dr. Kennedy provides is practical and can be applied to other personal relationships. I know I will refer to this book often as my daughter grows up. My daughter just turned one years old and I know the pages of this book will be well worn by the time she is a teenager.
Now that I have one year of parenthood under my belt, I’m not as anxious about parenthood as I was initially. I’m blessed to be surrounded by an outstanding community of family and friends. Also, I asked God to give me grace for each season of my child’s life and equip me with the skills that I need to properly raise my child. I’m certain He will honor my requests.
