The Art of Restraint: Embracing Self-Control as Your Superpower

Everyone hates lunch time meetings.

This week I joined a conference call about five minutes before the scheduled start time. One of the attendees’ phones was unmuted and we heard the attendee cursing about why would anyone schedule a meeting during lunch time. The meeting host told the attendee that the phone was unmuted. Then she lightened the atmosphere by saying that she also hates attending meetings and this meeting would be short. The attendee apologized profusely. This situation reminded me of the importance of exercising self-control regardless of whether you think someone is watching or listening to you.

Self-control is defined as the ability to control oneself, in particular one's emotions and desires or the expression of them in one's behavior, especially in difficult situations. Every day we make decisions whether or not to exercise self-control. For example, we decide whether to eat a sugary treat or eat fruit instead. While shopping, we decide whether to buy an outfit now or wait until it is on sale. In the article What Is Self-Control Theory in Psychology? the author states that self-control can be built like a muscle. The more the muscle is built the stronger it will become.

Abraham Gray, a multi-millionaire entrepreneur, stated on an episode of  The Social Proof Podcast that self-control is a skill that is essential for success. Mr. Gray said most people are hindered from success because they want instant gratification. He described how he was able to lose weight by thinking about the long-term effects of consuming junk food (e.g., weight gain and chronic diseases. The instant pleasure of eating junk food would hinder him from his weight loss and health goals. Mr. Gray discussed how self-control helped him to achieve financial stability and wealth. As a teenager, he habitually saved 50% of his earnings and continued to do this in adulthood. Mr. Gray emphasized that everyone can save and invest a percentage of their income consistently to achieve financial stability.

How can you use self-control as your superpower? What Is Self-Control Theory in Psychology?  lists the following elements to wield self-control.

1.        Deferring gratification

 Not obtaining pleasure immediately will reduce impulsiveness and build your self-control. For example, at least three days of each month, I only eat raw fruits and vegetables for my physical and spiritual health. During this time, I focus more on reading and writing.

2.       Ability to be cautious

Thinking before speaking is an example of being cautious. I think being an introvert has help me develop this element since I do not like to say the first thought that comes to my mind.

3.       Cognitive ability

Considering several factors before making a decision in addition to not being afraid to ask questions are methods of practicing this element of self-control. As I have matured, I have become more comfortable asking questions rather than being afraid of judgement from asking a “dumb question”.

4.       Social intelligence

Understanding your behavior, communicating effectively with others, and interpreting body language indicate having social intelligence. Social intelligence can be developed by observing others in social settings and continuously interacting with different people.

Self-control has to be consistently practiced to become a superpower. It is a superpower that will enhance your health, wealth, and relationships.